Age 72. A Hollywood Makeup Artiste. Ruby moved to Los Angeles at the age of 15 with her son Buddy, who found childhood fame as "The Tasty Bread poster boy." She also has a daughter named Desiree from her short-lived marriage to the entertainer, Tubby Lapels, chairman emeritus of the Hermosa Beach Friars club. Ruby's hobbies are poker, wine tasting, and preserving the old Hollywood, "so it don't turn into Boomshakalaka town." Age 56, an energetic homemaker, formerly of Long Island, now living in Boca Raton, Florida. Fern's husband Harry is a retired pharmacist. They have one daughter named Sheila and a son-in-law known as "the putz." Fern's hobbies are shopping and the theater - she loved Cats. She is an active member of her condo board and for the last two years has been the chairwoman of the "Temple of Israel of Boca Raton" Purim carnival. As Fern says, "I'm a giver,I love to give." Age 37. Magazine Editor. Born Janine Pillsworth, in Broxbourne, England. The only child of Frank and Jackie, who sacrificed everything to send her to a private school, [Frank even sold a kidney]. Eventually she disowned her working class parents and armed with her new identity, swiftly rose up the publishing ladder to her present appointment - Editor of Manhattan Magazine. Whereupon, an unscrupulous colleague revealed her true identity. A tearful reunion with her estranged parents ensued. Now her widowed mother, Jackie, conveniently works for Janie in her upper Eastside apartment as a housekeeper/nanny. Janie has two children, Olivia and Daniel, with her husband Gregor, a University Professor 30 years her senior. Age [it varies]. Seasoned performer, best known for her hit 70's TV series, VIP Lounge. Linda has inspired millions with her book "I'm Still Here! My lifelong battle with alcoholism, disease and personal misfortune..." which she hopes to turn into a musical. Her closest allies are her agent Candy Casino, and her "solid homosexual fan-base." Linda lives in the Hollywood Hills with her teacup Pomeranian "Killer." Age 43. An airline steward based out of London, Heathrow. A short hop from his converted carriage house in Osterley, which he lovingly restored with his significant other, Barry, an antiquarian bookseller. Trevor enjoys amateur dramatics, line dancing, and Roman Greco wrestling. He has been all over the world, but his favorite destinations remain Amsterdam, San Francisco, and the Greek Island of Mykonos. Age 42. Bank teller, and Caregiver. Kay is from England but took a work transfer to California to take advantage of American health care for her bedridden mother. Kay has never married. She did once bring a young man home, "but Mother rather spoiled it by staggering in, falling down in front of us, and screaming that she'd found something alive in her bedpan. It did rather blunt Cupid's arrow," chuckles Kay "still, mustn't crumble!" An eternal optimist, Kay's hobbies include cats (photographs only, Mother's allergic) and the collected works of the actor, Harry Dean Stanton. New York City cabby, and "Chic Magnet" [hence the name] of indeterminate middle-eastern origin. Chic is very single and was educated at "The University of Life, my friend!" Bronze medal winner at the Pan Mediterranean song Festival with his band "Teiku", for their song "Slide down my olive tree [ooh, baby, la la la]." Age not available (it's illegal to ask that question). Beverly Hills attorney. Sydney is a relentlessly ambitious and charmless litigator. She is single and was voted "Girl in High School you'd least like oral sex performed on you by." Her motto is "You name it, I'll sue it!" Age 34. Stuntwoman. Rayleen hails from Australia, where until the age of 10 she was raised by dingoes, having been lost on a family camping trip as a tot. She grew up to become Hollywood's "Stuntwoman to the stars." Rayleen now resides on a ranch, which she shared with her late-husband Mitch, a little person, "but with a whanger like a King Kangaroo!" The ranch provides shelter for an assorted group of retired animal actors, including Sandy the dog from the musical Annie who was retired after he attacked his co-stars and still goes berserk when he sees anyone with red hair. Age 19. Hope is a student at Sweetbriar College and resides in the Margaret Sanger Hall. She hasn't declared a major yet, however is strongly considering Environmental Studies and Pre-Law, but only so she can devote herself to defending the poor and persecuted in a smoke-free atmosphere. She is not currently a lesbian, but she is young and impressionable. Age 36. Virginia's husband is The Right Honorable Timothy Bugge, M.P. for Greater Diddlesbury. They have two children, Tamsin and Piers, who have attended boarding school since the age of six, leaving Virginia free to pursue her interests, which include fox hunting, grouse shooting, and bottling rhubarb chutney for the village f�te. Age 70. Donut shop owner of indeterminate Asian Origin. A hard working patriotic American, she finds that most of life's events bear direct analogies to the humble donut, "The circle of life!" Mrs. Noh Nang Ning works long hours, finding little time for pleasures such as sponsoring her niece in ice dance competitions and playing Paigow in Vegas. Age 47. Former lead singer of the 70's supergroup Wisechild. Erin suffered what was described as "severe cerebral feedback," after the famous ale-spiking incident at the Nebworth Festival. But with a program of herbal elixirs, colonic irrigation, and crystal absorption, she is making a steady comeback at Classic Rock Expos, and Pro-Choice rallies. She is guided by her faithful manager/earth-mother/nursemaid, Dusty Roads. Age 57. She has two birthdays: one that is the day she was born, and the other is her official birthday - a day that allows her subjects to rejoice. She has been very active recently in raising funds for a new Royal Yacht, something she believes is awfully important to the man in the street, "even though he will never be allowed to set foot in it." Please send much needed contributions to any one of the fourteen Royal Houses. Age 42. Devout Christian. Married to Bob, a tobacco industry executive, they live on Dan Quail Drive within a graceful, gated, guarded community with their seven home-schooled children. Age 34. Airport Security Guard. Sheneesha and her friends, Hellura and Ida, are African American security guards who work at the metal detector. She enjoys nothing more than harassing the passengers with a "Body Search!" Age 60. Beverly Hills Madam. Originally from Romania, 'Madam' Nadja conducts all her business from bed. She sees everything as reduced to sexual transactions. She was great friends with Nicolae and Elena Ceaucescu, and was at one time his mistress. 'Madam' is nostalgic for the cold war and has a parrot that talks back to her. Age 32. Life Companion to Midge Dexter, a professional golfer. Chris and Midge lead an openly gay life, after their very public display of affection on the 18th green, following Midge's victory in "The Slimline Classic". Chris has put her career as a step aerobics teacher on hold in order to tour with Midge, acting as her spiritual advisor and nutritionist. The Show | The Characters | Tracey