Rayleen opens the show by telling us just how good her relationship with Mitch is. Mrs. Noh Ning compares romance to the donut. Virginia tells of her one great romance, her horse. Hope fantasizes over a college student. Chic compares New York girls favorably to LA girls. Fern is faced with Harry's illness. Midge has problems showing her affections for Chris publicly.
Guest Stars: Julie Kavner, Michael Tucker.
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Fern tells her daughter that children ruined her life. Virginia compares her rough childhood to present times. Kay admits that her mother advised her never to marry. Rayleen talks of future plans for family with Mitch. Sydney uses a baby in an attempt to win over the judge. Chic and his brother Jake exchange strong words. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning takes her granddaughter to the ice rink and wants her to win. Ruby tells us about her childhood as part of a big family. Trevor is approached by a coworker and asked to father her child... Barry is not happy. Fern and Harry buy a condo without a family room. Hope invites her parents to view her documentary on family. Linda talks about her new family, 'Alcoholics Anonymous'.
Guest Stars: Julie Brown, Joanna Gleason, and Michael Mckean
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Janie tells us how she benefits from charity. Hope expresses her feelings on charity using charts. Fern and Harry host a Wild West charity event, which ends up being canceled when a cure for the disease is found. Linda directs a documentary at the 'Aged Animal Actors Home' run by Rayleen. Kay takes a beggar at his word when his sign says 'Will Work for Food'. Ruby recalls how she has been charitable to men.
Guest Stars: Cheech Marin, Michael Tucker
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Chic tells us about his experiences with famous people and how he helped them on the way up. Sydney compares lawyers past to lawyers present and tells us how fame has come to the legal profession. Kay recalls a meeting with a notorious Colombian drug lord. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning boasts about her famous clientele. Linda and Candy hire a stalker to boost her image in the public eye... But it backfires. Rayleen acts as Linda's stunt double. Tracey just wants to go home.
Guest Stars: Seymour Cassel, John Favreau, Alex Karras
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Janie finds it difficult to be nostalgic. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning compares today to life in the old days. Kay finds that her mother's pills have much more flavors now. Trevor recalls being gay in the 70's. Ruby tells 'Hidden Hollywood' about "The Epic that Never Was..." and takes us behind the scenes of the Buster Ganz movie 'The Bush Pilot'. Trevor gives his review on the film the 'The Bush Pilot'. Erin looks back on old times. Chic recalls the 70's complete with platform shoes, pooka beads and mood rings.
Guest Stars: Sandy Baron, Roddy McDowall
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Trevor talks about carrying a dead passenger. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning compares life and death to the donut. Timmy gets in trouble and Virginia feels the only way out is death. A past employer of Ruby's passes away and she is asked to make up the body at her funeral. Kay has a near death experience. Rayleen tells us how death doesn't scare her.
Guest Stars: Hugh Laurie, Derrick O'Connor
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Kay gets health advice from her chronically ill mother. Chic doesn't see the point of pumping iron, when you could pumping chicks. Sydney is sent to a health spa against her will only to persuade the clientele to sue for personal damages and injuries. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning shares with us the secret of her health, deep breathing and donuts. Fern and Harry discover that their sudden aliments could be symptoms of suppressed rage. Ruby talks about getting a mammogram.
Guest Stars: Julie Kavner, Joshua Malina, Michael Tucker, Todd Waring
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Rayleen is pissed-off that royals don't have names that show their real character. Fern's idea of royalty is Steve and Edie, the King and Queen of good, clean music. Kay buys a car from an exiled Albanian prince who is in dire need of a loan to restore his monarchy. Ruby tells us the truth about Grace Kelley's real-life fairytale. Hope proves that America does indeed have royalty. Virginia and Timmy host a luncheon for Her Royal Highness. Trevor recounts the time he served royalty.
Guest Stars: Hugh Laurie, Alastair Duncan, Alfred Molina
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Chic confesses that when your chick magnet like him, you got to look good. Fern refuses to put vanity plates on her Lincoln. Virginia thinks Americans are vain. Kay gets a makeover. Mrs. Noh Nag Ning compares vanity to a rainbow sprinkled donut. Ruby has learned over the years that men are twice as vain as woman. Sydney uses vanity to win a case. Trevor admits that he's vain but he'd never get breast implants. Janie goes on a fashion shoot in Bosnia in hopes of getting a noble prize. Rayleen tells us why you can't open your legs when you're falling down stairs. Linda admits that she had some work done...
Guest Stars: Stanley DeSantis, Joshua Molina
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Mrs. Noh Nang Ning recounts having a legal problem because of a bad donut. Hope advises us about what happens to kleptomaniacs. Sydney turns a case around by making the plaintiff confess that he was on an obsessive quest revenge. Ruby tries to get Buddy to live up to his potential and fake and injury. Harry and Fern get caught in the middle of a drug stakeout. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning compares lawyers to the bagel.
Guest Stars: Joshua Molina, Bruce McGill, Michael Tucker
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