Tracey Ullman opens the show by telling the audience she won't discuss her sex life. Sydney admits that she is a sexual being as well a workaholic lawyer. Hope predicts what her sex life will be like after college. Birdie discusses sex education. Linda Granger, a recovering sexaholic falls of the wagon. Fern and her friend, Jobie, discuss how not to have sex. Kay wonders if sex might be anything like a visit to the gynecologist. Ruby mistakenly gets a job as a make-up artist on a porno movie. Chic recalls his first time, at the age of twelve, a "rite of passage" in the dessert. Guest stars: Julie Kavner, Bruce Kirby, Jack Conley Tracey Ullman opens the show by revealing her dream of meeting Paul McCartney. Trevor fantasizes about sex in space. Fern's friend Jobie admits she has the hots for the condominium's pool man. Sydney dreams that she goes to jail for murdering a priest. Her Royal Highness meets Tracey Ullman and fulfills both their fantasies when they each tell what they think of the other. Ruby's is kidnapped by aliens and has a tete-a-tete aboard a space shipÉ or did she just imagine it? Mrs. Noh Nang Ning admits that she always wanted to tap dance in a big Hollywood musical. Rayleen and her husband (a little person) hang-glide into the hallowed pages of the Penthouse Forum. Guest stars: Julie Kavner, Ron Canada, Danny Woodburn Tracey Ullman opens this show by declaring that she is an equal opportunity offender. Virginia recalls the time she rented her country home to the Blacks. Fern explains the relations between Blacks and Jews. Linda Granger stars in 'Driving Miss Daisy' with an African-American actor who is nothing like the affable character he plays on stage. Kay is the forewoman of a multi-racial jury that has a hard time finding common ground or coming to a verdict. Rayleen is forced to hide from a group of activists because she is made up in black face. Trevor recalls the day Nelson Mandela made the cabin truly "first class." Fern's husband Harry gets offered a part in a Rap music video. Chic recounts the time he picked up Johnny Cochran in his taxi. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning explains her guns for donuts exchange program. Sydney reveals her problems hiring minorities. Guest stars: Lawrence Hilton Jacobs, George Segal Tracey Ullman opens the show by exhibiting two of her childhood dolls and explains how they were destroyed by her pet dog. Chic remembers arriving in America as a boy. Rayleen reveals that she was raised by dingoes. Her Royal Highness meets her old nanny. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning recounts her flight from a homeland in turmoil and how America and the donut were her destiny. Janie's fears that her boring upbringing might be made public. Sydney explains why she sued her mother. Trevor has a flashback to the day he discovered Doris Day was more appealing than sports and his Dad knew he was different. While sorting through old photographs Ruby tells of her start as a Hollywood make-up artist. Guest stars: Judy Geeson, John Mahoney, Olivia Newton-John Tracey Ullman opens the show by introducing her all girl staff and how they make policy on the show. Chic sympathizes with politicians who need sex. Virginia misses Margaret Thatcher. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning explains voting procedures in her homeland. Trevor agrees to play the role of escort to a female friend so that she can carry on a secret affair with a senator. Ruby discusses the bridge between showbiz and politics. Fern runs for condominium President, a position held by her friend Jobie, but her campaign is derailed by a sex scandal involving her husband, Harry. Birdie and her daughter are off to attend the "We Hate Hillary (Clinton) Club." Sydney's glad there are politicians to look down on. Guest stars: Nicolas Coster, Julie Kavner, George Segal, Marcia Strassman Tracey Ullman opens the show with a visit with her Mum in England. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning takes her granddaughter to a Dodgers game. Ruby discusses child rearing. Janie has a nightmare that she's turned into her very common mother. Birdie's son gets a gun for his birthday. Ruby is surprised to find out that her great-granddaughter is African-American. Her Royal Highness meets Mother Theresa. Fern and Harry are not happy with their daughter's new age birth procedures. Chic relates the troubles he's had bringing his mother to America. Trevor remembers being propositioned as a child by a friend's mother. Guest stars: Melinda Dillon, George Segal Tracey Ullman opens the show by revealing her secret office bathroom. Kay remembers smuggling a cockatiel home that wreaked havoc on her bed-ridden mother. Linda Granger's daughter finds out the truth about how her birth was kept secret to protect her mother's television career. Chic explains why everyone tells him intimate details of their lives. Her Royal Highness meets Salmon Rushdie. Fern and her friend Jobie discuss things they haven't told their husbands. Janie admits her most secret desires to her psychiatrist and it involves a paddle. Rayleen's secret is that she was almost a boy at birth. Birdie shows off her hidden rocket launcher. Guest stars: Seymour Cassel, Kristen Datillo, Julie Kavner, Ron Perlman Tracey Ullman opens the show by informing the audience that she views them as investors in the show. Her Royal Highness tries to sell Shaquille O'Neal a royal title. Chic is audited by an IRS agent. Ruby tries to buy cigarettes and liquor with food stamps. Fern and her husband, Harry, invest in an ostrich farm. Birdie explains the monetary perks of working for the tobacco industry. After overcoming years of substance abuse and personal misfortune, Linda makes an appearance on the "Family Spending Channel" to sell her recovery dolls. Rayleen describes her new line of Australian cosmetics. Guest stars: Richard Dimitri, Steve Landsberg, Jo Ann Harris, George Segal Tracey Ullman opens the show by admitting that she would like to be abducted by aliens. Trevor recalls a "Twilight Zone" like episode aboard a plane. Janie believes that she is a successful magazine editor because she can predict trends. Chris Warner makes a deal with the Devil to help her lover, golf pro Midge Dexter, overcome a slump. Fern's maid, Betina, puts a curse on Harry when they try to take taxes out of her paycheck. Chic declares that he doesn't believe in the supernatural. Guest stars: Matt Frewer, Marga Gomez, Julie Kavner, George Segal, Amy Alcott Tracey Ullman opens the show by preparing lunch for the show's crew. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning has eel for lunch. Ruby longs for the old days of chemical filled frozen dinners. Janie's paranoia runs wild when she loses her regular table at a power restaurant. Fern eats gassy foods even though she knows she'll have to pay the price. Chic serves lunch to a busy businessman in his new taxicab cafŽ. Sydney explains how she prepares for court by eating raw meat. Linda discusses her new cookbook for bulimics. Virginia compares class and food in society. Trevor and his longtime lover, Barry, consider ending their relationship over a casserole that had too much salt. Birdie warns the public of food labels that may contain government propaganda. Her Royal Highness queries Paul Newman on his line of food products. Guest stars: Michael McKean, Natalija Nogulich, Timothy Busfield, Jim Fyfe Guest stars: Joshua Molina, Bruce McGill, Michael Tucker Tracey opens the show by discovering that the gold record awarded her for "They Don't Know About Us" is not actually her recording. Her Royal Highness tries to hire Bob Dylan for a palace party. Sydney defends a client by singing to the jury. Chic goes onstage at a production of the opera "'Carmen" to collect a cab fare. Virginia recounts a rude rock star that she had to lock in her cellar. Hope remembers meeting singers from the lollapalooza tour. Linda goes to a juvenile detention center and sings show tunes to the "Kids." Erin McColl, a sixties - seventies music icon, attempts a reunion with her old band "Wise Child." Guest stars: Mo Gaffney, Calvin Remsberg, Gloria Gifford, "The Roches" Tracey is arrested at the opening of the show for running a gambling pool on the set. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning describes how justice is dispensed in her homeland. Her Royal Highness meets O.J. Simpson. Kay is suspected of being involved in a bank robbery at the branch she works at. Fern measures all crimes by how they affect the Jews. Chic lets it be known that he has certain illegal commodities for sale. Linda visits a prison inmate who once stalked her. Ruby retells the tale of a drug bust on the set of a movie she worked on. Virginia and her husband, Timmy, mistakenly pick up a Mafia boss' suitcase at the airport. Hope relates an urban myth about a dead body found rolled in a carpet. Birdie councils death row inmates to avoid appeals and get it over with. Guest stars: Jon Favreau, Tim McInnerny, John Spencer Tracey opens the show by reenacting black and white British war movies. Sydney wonders who will play her in the movie of her life. Trevor explains why "Gone With the Wind" has no effect on him. Ruby gets lost at a gigantic megaplex movie theater. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning relates how movies were banned in her homeland. Virginia and her husband, Timmy, rent their home in England to an American film crew and Timmy becomes jealous of Virginia's friendship with the movie's star. Her Royal Highness meets Demi Moore. Fern recalls a high school date to see "An Affair to Remember." Rayleen saves the day at the premiere of a movie in which she was the stunt double. With Kay needing to care for her sick mother she explains why she only watches videos. Chic remembers hitting on Mary Poppins. Guest stars: Tim McInnerny, John Stamos, Alastair Duncan Tracey experiences dŽja vu in the opening of the show, when she tries to wear her old seventies platform shoes. Mrs. Noh Nang Ning remembers her first donut machine. Janie's magazine, Manhattan Review, hosts a seventies retro-party at the famous Stage 24 disco. Janie and Hope, who is an intern at the magazine, arrive at the party via Chic's cab. In a flashback Chic tells Hope how be helped a young Janie sneak into the club in 1976, where she spied on Linda Granger's cocaine habit as well as her double dealings with the producers of her hit television show "VIP LOUNGE." Afterward Janie wrote an article, which catapulted her career and destroyed Linda's. Hope discovers the article and exposes Janie to the entire Manhattan Review staff. Ruby caps off the show by claiming she was actually responsible for Linda's demise. Guest stars: Seymour Cassel Tracey opens the show as she and her husband pack for a trip to Las Vegas. Fern, Ruby, Hope, Trevor, Virginia and her husband, Timmy, arrive In Vegas (not all of their own choice). After checking into the Old Testament Hotel, they are transported by Chic to the Lapland Lounge, where Linda Granger is preparing for a comeback performance. As Linda belts out "Viva Las Vegas" she is mauled by a tiger from Dieter & Gunther's magic show. Sydney, of course will sue on Linda's behalf. Guest stars: Seymour Cassel, Tim McInnerny, Bradley Whitford The Show | The Characters | Tracey