Tracey Ullman opens the show by explaining why she didn't go out on many dates growing up. Janie dictates the perfect date. Kay explains the mistake made in post-dating checks. Sydney goes to a dating agency. Rayleen is asked out on a date. Ruby uses reverse psychology dealing with Desiree dating. Erin doesn't want Dusty dating. Trevor learned to do the hustle. Madam Nadja dated as a child. Chic likes to keep the meter running. Linda has a reunion with an old flame. Guest stars: Corbin Bernsen, Mo Gaffney, Mark DeCarlo, Joanne Belson Harris Tracey Ullman opens the show by revealing a scandal from her past. Fern is "Touched by a Dentist." Hope talks of a scandal at school. Sydney finds a hair in her bed. Madam Nadja can prevent scandals. Janie is nearly seduced by a boy. Linda is looking for publicity. Guest stars: Julie Kavner, Natalija Nogulich, Bruce McGill, Sam McMurray, Liz Torres Tracey Ullman opens the show by telling us how she'd rearrange book displays to promote her own book. Trevor tries to smuggle a book to England. Linda reads Chekhov. Janie always liked writers. Kay falls in love at the library. Madam Nadja may title her book "Call me Madam". Fern lends out her personally signed, Jacqueline Susann book for the last time. Chic read a book once. Birdie holds the Godson annual book-burning barbecue. Rayleen rips up a phone book to fit in with the guys. Guest stars: Stanley DeSantis, Chris Elliot, Len Lesser, Liz Torres Tracey Ullman opens the show with her theory about Elton John's hair. Kay's hair cut. Linda returns to the stage in "Hair". Ruby explains the four hair colors. Trevor remembers when he got his Beatle's haircut. Madam Nadja won't have a girl with a sloppy bush. Fern's hairdresser has died. Erin gets stuck. Guest stars: Seymour Cassel, Richard Dimitri, Mo Gaffney, Judy Geeson, Gary Oldman, W. Morgan Sheppard Tracey Ullman opens the show by talking about actors that are supposedly 'clean.' Sydney hates downer drugs. Ruby's hip replacement has her walking in circles. Erin's drug dealer has a career crisis. Chic has a cousin who is a vegetable. Sheneesha is going to explode unless she gets her heart medication. Chris and Midge become druggies. Madam Nadja won't let her girls take drugs. Kay helps a coworker with a drug problem and becomes a swinger herself. Linda sings of the drugs she's kicked. Guest stars: Howard Hessman, Julie Kavner, Adele Givens, Marissa Ribisi Tracey Ullman opens the show by talking about the differences in English and American cultures. Kay explains how America brought out her wild side. Ruby remembers her love affair with Senator McCarthy. Erin has bad memories of her old boyfriend in "America". Fern runs into an old Jewish Mobster. Birdie does her award winning baton routine. Sheneesha has a "carryon" theory. Guest stars: Mo Gaffney, Jeffrey Tambor, Michael Tucker, Adele Givens, Robert Sacchi, Liz Torres, Adam Biesk Tracey Ullman opens the show by admitting some of her obsessions. Chic is selling "Absession". Hope is obsessed with youth. Sydney goes to her high school reunion. Madam Nadja's girls get obsessed. Trevor discusses an obsession. Ruby's "Magnificent Obsession." HRH is not obsessive. Sheneesha talks about Spielberg. Kay and her Beany Babies. Guest stars: Noel Harrison, Michael McKean, Adele Givens, Finola Hughes Tracey Ullman opens the show by recounting something erotic she once did. Madam Nadja explains the most erotic parts of the body. Hope chose Spanish over German because of Mexican Wrestlers. Janie takes a stand for Art by saving a sculpture from destruction and is seduced by the art piece. Fern realizes Harry's oriental sculpture is a mass of schtupping. Chic makes a mini series of videos he filmed in his cab. Linda is invited to meet a Sultan and falls for Victoria Principal. Ruby has erotic dreams. Trevor discusses the mile high club. Guest stars: Seymour Cassel, Richard Dimitri, Natalija Nogulich, Marissa Ribisi, Rusty Schwimmer, Carrie Otis, Victoria Principal, Steve Jones Tracey Ullman opens the show by admitting old drivers can give her a case of road rage. A police car chase and hijacking has everyone involved. Ruby, Linda, Fern and Jobie, Sydney, Chris and Midge, and Hope get Road Rage. Guest stars: Julie Kavner, Clea Lewis, Charles Rocket, Wayne Pere, Jack Conley Tracey Ullman opens the show by recounting a story from when she worked at 20th Century Fox Television. HRH and Pip talk about a spin-doctor. Ruby enters Buddy into a competition. Madam Nadja talks of American TV. Linda's "VIP" music video. Fern talks about the after death market. Sheneesha complains about the hype. Trevor has his own personal grooming wand. Guest stars: Caroline Aaron, Seymour Cassel, James Gammon, Adele Givens, Michael Milhoan Tracey Ullman opens the show by talking about people who've had cosmetic surgery. Hope was lied to as a kid. Fern and Jobie discuss their husbands. Sheneesha thinks men can't help themselves. Madam Nadja knows the police lie. Chic gets caught in a web of lies. Sydney never lies. Ruby on Liberace. Trevor's favorite film was Pinocchio. Linda sings. Guest stars: Jerry Alder, Paul Dooley, Michael Tucker, Adele Givens, Julio Oscar Mechoso, Liz Torres, Kevin Cooney, Mary Lynn Rajskub Tracey Ullman opens the show by telling us her husband won't talk about the end of the world. A meteor is coming and the end of the world is nigh. Linda and Candy, Trevor and Barry, Fern and Jobie, Kay, Hope, Janie, Chic, Birdie, and Sydney get involved. Guest stars: Seymour Cassel, Julie Kavner, Michael McKean, Adele Givens, Katherine Joosten, Bob Costas The Show | The Characters | Tracey